I study in Class 11. I was not a very popular girl till Class 10, but in Class 11 I worked hard and changed myself. This year I topped in class. My problem is that even now, I study, I work hard, but I don’t get the attention that I seek. My fellow classmate on the other hand got just 69% and still all the teachers notice her. I don’t like much responsibility but I want people’s attention and it’s now getting harder for me to concentrate as this is getting worse day by day. What should I do?
Sounds like you are feeling quite frustrated that you don’t get the attention that you would like from others. While your idea to focus on changing yourself was a good one; however, the change you made in yourself was in your ‘performance’, instead of your approach to people. One’s performance may get noticed, but we don’t quite get noticed for our performance. We get noticed for our nature and our personality. If popularity is being liked by many others, begin by liking yourself!
Your answer lies in a beautiful prayer by St Francis of Assisi: “O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood, as to understand, to be loved as to love; for it is in giving that we receive…” To receive attention, first give attention. Instead of focusing on you being popular, put the spotlight on others; go up to people and genuinely connect with them. Be friendly and kind; show an interest in others’ lives and what they like. Only then will you find that people see you differently, as a warm, loving person. It will take the pressure off you if you only ‘give’ than to ‘get’.
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