I am a 17-year-old girl and I am not able to concentrate on my studies. The reason for this is my failure to obtain the marks I expected in my examinations. My lecturers and family members have great expectations of me. When I do not get the expected marks they have harsh words for me. Because of this I am not able to concentrate on the current year’s syllabus. Whenever I open my books I feel depressed and if they say anything that hurts me I feel even more depressed. Please help me.
I understand that you are very upset about not getting the marks you expected, and are also deeply hurt when your parents and teachers use harsh words to express their disappointment. And, their disappointment makes you feel like a failure.
When your focus is on marks, and on living up to expectations – both your own and others’ it leads to a great amount of ‘performance anxiety, which becomes an obstacle to focusing on your studies. Instead, think that your studies are a stepping-stone to your future career (your goal).
Use a problem-solving approach and try to find out what really stops you from getting the marks you desire. Are you not interested enough in the career and stream you have chosen? Do you find some topics difficult and have not understood something well enough? Do you feel that there is too much to study and too little time? For each of these things you can easily seek and receive help from your teachers or friends. To increase focus, find out more about and use the 25-minute Pomodoro technique to study.
And, most of all… believe that you can do what you have set out to do and you surely will!
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